Christmas Budgets & Spending

December 4, 2018 at 12:18 PM

With this job i have now, i have made a group of friends. not just friends at work, but friends outside of work too, which has pretty awesome so far. I'm not the type of person that makes friends easily, though I actually do try. Anyway we decided to buy each other gifts this year and do a gift exchange. how it works is that we have a group message list going, and we each added stuff to the list of things we wanted, just to give ideas. For instance I have a small kitchen again so i put that i'd appreciate anything from the pioneer woman kitchen stuff at Walmart. it's stuff i need, and i didn't think it would cost much so no one would have to spend a ton of money on me. Everyone elses lists were reasonable as well. So I haven't started my shopping yet, but I had planned to next week. I was going to pick one thing off everyones list, then get them another gift I thought they might like. This is for six people including me.

Well one friend, I guess we'll say her name is Hailey, texted and said she changed her mind. instead of her original stuff, she asked if it were possible if all five of us could chip in and get her a nintendo switch. it's $300 so thats $60 per person. I said I wouldn't mind if everyone else agreed. But one friend, Lily, pretty much said no. But she got mad at me for bringing it up. She said $60 was too much to spend on one person. That got me thinking about it and so I texted, "is it? idk". I didnt mean it rudely, more like, I was starting to really wonder if $60 was too much to spend on someone. But Lily took it wrong and said, "YES, it's a lot, especially when you have 11 people to buy for. You don't."

I don't know. At first i was excited about doing gifts, because i honestly love shopping for others. I don't care what I get because Christmas isn't about any of the gifts you get anyway. To me its about giving, about God, and feeling the spirit of Christmas in your heart and soul. I just keep thinking about the situation now. I'm worried I will spend to much money and make others feel bad, or maybe I won't spend enough and that will make people feel bad as well. I just want everyone to be happy really. This is my first year buying everyone something and i just want to get it right.

Any advice? How do you set a Christmas budget? Do most people care what you spend?

 
October 11, 2018 at 11:03 PM
We've met most of our friends through our kids. That is, our kids and their kids became friends and then we became friends with their parents. This goes back to shared interests, we all had kids in common. As others have said, just start meeting with people who share your interests. As long as you participate, maybe volunteer to lead occasionally, some will invite you to activities outside the group.

 

 

August 28, 2018 at 3:22 AM
Well, first things first.

 

The point of the #metoo movement was to make people aware of a problem, and it has apparently done that since you are beginning to re-evaluate your own behavior.

But you're gonna need to get a little more sophisticated in your analysis.

I agree with the previous posters that you are focused on the wrong parts of the problem. You're naturally concerned about personal consequences for your behavior. Is that because you know you've crossed a line in the past? Or are you actually worried that random women with malicious grudges will go out of their way to ruin your career without cause? Because 99% of people (women included) will accept a sincere compliment without issue.

It's really not hard to act appropriately, and that is the goal of #metoo: To get people to see an issue from a different perspective.

I have noticed a bit of a backlash similar to what you've mentioned, with people afraid of joking around, and honestly that's probably a good thing since some idiots do take advantage of people's reluctance to call someone out for boorishness. But I've also seen guys go the opposite way, and become more hostile about gender differences. Watch - it'll happen in this thread, if it stays open. They will refuse to examine their own actions and instead will thoughtlessly turn it into a buzzword aimed at insulting others.

One thing you need to understand, in your quest to say something nice to everyone, is that people aren't dying for you to compliment them. Sure, friendly greetings are great! But are you offering these sincerely to make the other person feel better or to come off as the office good guy?

Either way, Sweetascanbe had some great suggestions for making those niceties more neutral.

Because really, if "I'm afraid I'll get in trouble..." is your primary reaction to #metoo, then you still have some work to do.

 

August 24, 2018 at 12:48 PM
Cars:- Invention of the Devil in an effort to make all people lazy and fat, since they aren't getting any exercise walking

 

Trouble:-

August 24, 2018 at 12:39 PM
Years ago I would have taken it personally and been ticked off. Now I think I would just let the person go ahead.

 

As they say - 'everyone is fighting some kind of battle'. Maybe this person is going through something I can't even imagine.

I choose to not be in a hurry much anymore and it makes my life so much better!

 

August 24, 2018 at 12:18 PM
The norm? Early 2000s, I would say. But they were a common sight by the second half of the '90s.

 

 

July 21, 2018 at 6:15 PM
I can't stomach Seinfeld. He's the guy that everyone thinks is funny and I JUST DO NOT SEE IT....kind a like the Beatles. Great music? Really? Vanilla all the way....but Friends is just really good writing and chemistry. This just goes to show different strokes though, ya know? I know plenty that love Seinfeld and hate Friends, my family members included.

 

 

July 21, 2018 at 6:07 PM
After I had my first child. I remember feeling then that I was fully an adult.

 

 

July 21, 2018 at 6:02 PM
2 chicken sandwiches are $2.24
Good snack.

 

Added fries at no cost is a pretty good deal.

 

May 24, 2018 at 2:52 AM
Exactly that! Lol

 

Which way did it take you, why and how?

May 24, 2018 at 2:49 AM
Alibi:- Pretending that you are whiter than white by saying that you weren't there.

 

Dwarf:-

May 24, 2018 at 2:47 AM
Well I'm not the 3rd sister, I'm the cousin. The cousin I'm jealous of is the youngest, she does have 2 older sisters who are also perfect. She did not get kicked out of the ivy league school, she chose to leave because she was unhappy. But yes she did marry rich...yesterday.

 

Apparently this is a typical scenario, I dunno.

All I know is that I'm sick of thinking about this person.